“To feel alone is to be alone. That’s what is it.”
- Jonathan Safran Foer
...i feel worn down, i need to stick my head in a sharpener.
i see everyone, and they are together. everyone is together. (i just spilled nail polish all over my desk.) everyone is together holding hands taking up the whole sidewalk moving like lackadaisical butterflies mating in june or may or whenever it is they mate if they even mate if i even have a cocoon to break out of if i've already broken out of it then this is quite sad because i feel very much alone in my head and in my finger tips which reached out for the Boy's tonight but left a mili-mili-milimeter to his own and found themselves wrapped around my knees, hugging myself to my breast as he remained oblivious or uninterested i'm not sure which is worse well i suppose uninterested but i don't even know anymore i just want to listen to radiohead and smell sharpies and sleep until prince charming comes but i am not a pretty girl, i have a shot at beautiful but only if i try and i am just so worn down.
i am so worn down.
everyone is together, kissing against trees in the middle of january and looking on sympathetically if only for a moment as i dig deeper into my pockets looking for something that isn't there, and may never be.
2 comments:
This is beautifully written. I can associate myself with the singular feeling that is pulling you down. Everywhere I look people seem to painfully happy, laughing, and sometimes I laugh just because I'm aching to laugh. And in moments like these, the world starts to look calamitously huge, and the heart shrinks.
But then you know, there are better day, always, so have faith.
Very well written, I understand.
AND this is one of my favorite paintings, its actually on my mousepad :)
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