Barricades

i'm going through the movements but i'm really not sure why i go to class or why i sit not stand or why i fall for the ones i do. the Boy makes me feel anxious, in a good way, in the way that lets you know you're alive. the flirting the second guessing the confusion the dissapointment the highs the lows the potential. potential energy like we discussed in physics which i am currently failing but that's alright because i'm not here to become a physicist. by here i mean, this school... this earth, too. i'm actually not quite sure why i'm here but i'm sure its not to study molecules. in the bigger scheme of things i'm really just trying to convince myself of this and of that and of the concept of unconditional love. every once and a while a Boy comes around and my fingers don't feel so numb, but it's always passed without fruition. i hope this time is different, like i've hoped every time before.